


The Sin We Call Bullshit (a haikyuu chat fic)

by liruicchi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kawanishi taichi - Freeform, Kunimi Akira - Freeform, Other, Seijo, Shirabu kenjiro - Freeform, Shiratorizawa, Tanaka - Freeform, Yahaba Shigeru - Freeform, bobata, chatfic, ennoshita chikara - Freeform, goshiki tsutomu - Freeform, haikyuu chatfic, inuoka, kyoutani kentarou - Freeform, nishinoya yuu - Freeform, onaga - Freeform, shibata (Haikyuu!!) - Freeform, shinji watari - Freeform, terushima yuuji - Freeform, tsukishima kei - Freeform, yamamoto - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22265347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liruicchi/pseuds/liruicchi
Summary: When Kuroo and Oiks decide to create a chat to learn about the first and second years’ tea
Relationships: Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou
Comments: 69
Kudos: 246





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I’m @kisekinohaikyuu on insta. I hope you’ll enjoy this  
> Also, at first their users will be in bold. They’re actually supposed to be, but since I have to redo it and my phone is bitching, it’ll just fade out. Sorry bout that.  
> -fixed:)

**8:09AM**

_**OIKSIE has added hinamatata, pudding, kunikira, not a radish, sempai, thundah, not creampuff-chan, Akaashi, mega megane, oh gods, lady naga, russiacat, puppy-chan, fuckingnaga, futacoochie, terrorshima, sinji, bootyboo, mothermonkey, inuohhhka to the chat** _

_**catwoman has named the chat 'ok so'** _

**catwoman** : ok so

**kunikira** : excuse me, but what's this?

**OIKSIE** : a chat for you second and first years!

**catwoman** : OIKS STFU

**lady naga:** you have made a very grave mistake

**OIKSIE** : BLEH

**OIKSIE** : TOO SLOW! TOO BAD TOO SAD, KURO-CHAN

**catwoman** : RACIST!

**oh** **gods** : oh gods

**OIKSIE** : living up to your name, I see

_**oh gods has left the chat** _

_**kunikira has left the chat** _

_**lady naga has left the chat** _

**catwoman** : oh no u don't

_**catwoman has added oh gods, kunikira and lady naga into the chat** _

**lady** **naga** : fuck

**lady naga** : no stop ur making a mistake and I don't wanna be apart of that mistake

**Akaashi** : well now that I know we can't leave....

**sinji** : so uh? 

**futacoochie** : what'd he do? where'd he go?

**fuckingnaga** : omg

**fuckingnaga** : was that Akaashi who just asked a cop to take him to prison?

**catwoman** : WHAT

**fuckingnaga** : also what is this?

**inuohhhka** : now you ask?!

**catwoman** : well don't just STAND THERE

**catwoman** : PERSUADE HIM NOT TO

**russiacat** : actually, the cop's a girl

**catwoman** : fuck off, lev. I'm trying to not get pummeled by Bokuto here.

**hinamatata** : HIIIIIII!!!

**mega** **megane** : oh fuck no

**_mega megane has left the cha_ t**

**catwoman** : not so fast, tsukki~

_**OIKSIE has added mega megane into the chat** _

**catwoman** : oiKS

**catwoman** : STOP. STEALING. MY

**mega** **megane** : oh no you don't

**mega** **megane** : don't you dare summon the demon of the deep

**oh** **gods** : I don't think I've ever seen Tsukishima type that fast

**russiacat** : HINATA!!!

**hinamatata** : LEV!!

**mega** **megane** : so annoying

**hinamatata** : hey!! what have I done to YOU?!

**oh** **gods** : omg

**sempai** : BAHAHAHAHAH

**thundah** : HE RECOGNISDE LEV BUT NOT ONE OF HIS OWNEDNCKLZXLJKVDJ

**kunikira** : who are you people, and what is the purpose of this chat?

**OIKSIE** : first and second years!!!

**kunikira** : very descriptive. shall I applaud you for your five star explanation?

**mega** **megane** : I like this one more than the idiot duo

**kunikira** : dunno u but I get the feeling you're smarter than most everyone else here so I like you too.

**futacoochie** : this disgusts me

**OIKSIE** : what disgusts you? a mirror?

**futacoochie** : fuck off and go eat your kalteen bars, regina

**OIKSIE** : wow ok

**OIKSIE** : they always said young girls were snappy but I never really knew the full extent...

**kunikira** : oh my god

**kunikira** : if you were anyone else I would respect you for that

**OIKSIE** : I-

**kunikira** : back to my question, though, what is the purpose of this chat? why did you make it?

**catwoman** : because the third years all have a chat! and we found out you guys didn't

**OIKSIE** : outrageous, really

**catwoman** : we decided to make a gc for you!

**kunikira** : okay but why both first and second years?

**kunikira** : also, that's such a stupid reason

**OIKSIE** : shuT UP IT'S NOT STUPID

**pudding** : just tell them the real reason, kuroo

**kunikira** : spill it, furball

**catwoman** : fINE fINE

**OIKSIE** : the real reason we made this chat is bc you guys are sad, depressed bitches that need lives

**pudding** : believable but real reason, please.

**OIKSIE** : okay fine, we wanted to know ur tea:3

**OIKSIE** : gtg Kuro-chan is sending me threats via priv mes

**lady** **naga** : we're fucked, aren't we?

**kunikira** : oh no, not at all. what made you think that?

**hinamatata** : HIIIIII KENMAAAAA

**pudding** : hi, shouyou

**12:28PM**

**sempai** : uh? WHAT IS THIS?

**not creampuff-chan** : scroll up

**sinji** : you were here that entire time?

**not creampuff-chan** : uh? yeah?

**kunikira** : you let me suffer alone. you're dead to me

**OIKSIE** : everyone's dead to you, kuni-chan

**kunikira** : and soon you alone will be just dead

**OIKSIE** : gotta go fast

**7:04PM**

_**-ok so-** _

**catwoman** : OIKS

**OIKSIE** : WHAT

**catwoman** : HOW DARE YOU

**OIKSIE** : WHAT DID I DO

**mega megane** : do us all a favour and stfu

**catwoman** : YOU FILTHY LITTLE WENCH

**fuckingnaga** : omfg

**catwoman** : YOU DIDN'T ADD MY KOUHAI

**catwoman** : THIS IS AN OUTRAGE

**OIKSIE** : WHAT?? YES I DID

**OIKSIE** : STOP BEING A DIRTY LITTLE LIAR, KURO-CHAN

**kunikira** : do they breathe in capslock?

**OIKSIE** : OR SHOULD I SAY

**mega megane:** yes

**OIKSIE** : _ROOSTER-CHAN_

**catwoman** : _GASP_

**catwoman** : you DIDN'T

**mega megane** : omg the 'you' was normal

**kunikira** : truly astonishing

_**catwoman has added yamatatas** _

**catwoman** : FUCK YOU AND YOUR BARBIE DOLLS, OIKS

**OIKSIE** : _GASP_

**OIKSIE** : BITCH YOU DID NOT JUST

**catwoman** : bitch I _DID_ just

**OIKSIE** : I _TOLD_ YOU THEIR NAMES ARE BARBARA, NIKKI, KAREN AND HEATHER

**not a radish:** well I just learned something I wish I never did

**catwoman** : WERE, oiks, WERE

**OIKSIE** : YOU DONT GET TO NAME MY PRIZED LA LA LOOPSY DOLLS

**not creampuff-chan** : um excuse me ur what now

**kunikira** : this is the real reason he doesn't let us into his house

**yamatatas** : WHAT IS THIS

**sempai** : YAMAMOTO?

**yamatatas** : TANAKA?

**mega megane:** ah, the wannabe duo

**yamatatas** : FUCK YOU JUST CALL US? HUUUUUH

**kunikira** : touch him and I'll cut off all your fingers and feed them to Watari's dog

**sinji:** eh? why mine?

**puppy-chan** : scary

**sinji** : SAYS YOU

**puppy-chan** : hey i almost got dropped on my first day, i'm an innocent victim

**sinji** : yeah, very harmless

**puppy-chan:** not so harmless to you if you keep talking

**hinamatata** : WOAH!!! IS THAT MAD DOG FROM SEIJOH?!

**thundah** : SRSLY HOW DOES HE KNOW EVERYONE EXCEPT HIS OWN TEEAMMATES

**mega megane** : maybe prolonged exposure to you has made him lose what's left of his meager amount of brain cells

**hinamatata** : I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE THE SLIETN TYPE

**mega megane** : great spelling you got there

**not creampuff-chan:** anyways, yeah Watari ur dog is super scary. always looks like it wants to see my head roll right off my body

**sinji** : excuse me, Edgar is ADORABLE. Y'all don't know what you're talking about!!

**not a radish:** YEAH TO YOU MAYBE

**not a radish:** BUT TO US NO

**lady naga:** seijou seems...lively

**yamatatas** : ANYONE MIND TELLING ME WHAT THE FUCK THISNIS

**oh gods** : scroll up

**yamatata** : yes God

**hinamatata** : yessir

**mega megane** : fuck off

**hinamatata** : :(((

**mega megane** : :)

**OIKSIE** : tf salt-chan do u get off on his suffering or smth

**mega megane:** hardly

**yamatatas** : wait if this is a chat for first and second years where's that blueberry setter from karasuno?

**catwoman** : omg oiks u did not

**kunikira** : oikawa-san probably didn't add him because he doesn't like him

**not creampuff-chan:** wdym 'probably'? it's a definite.

**terrorshima** : WHOOP WHOOP WHUZZDIS

**mega megane** : fuck

**mega megane** : quick everyone, say your prayers

**Akaashi** : I wish for death

**pudding** :^^

**bootyboo** : now that we're talking about missing members, I'm noticing the lack of shiratorizawa....

**russiacat** : WOAH! Where'd you come from?!

**bootyboo** : your mother's vagina

**russiacat** : ALISA?

**bootyboo** : THE FUCK, NO??

**bootyboo** : WHO THE FUCK IS ALISA

**terrorshima** : PFFT YO ALISA

**bootyboo** : STFU BEFORE I RIP THAT PIERCING FROM YOUR TONGUE

**terrorshima** : TRY ME BITCH

**Akaashi** : and life just got more stressful

**OIKSIE** : DONT YOUY DARE MENTION THATC NAME

**catwoman** : yeah, they're not here bc oiks dislikes shiratorizawa

**pudding** : 'dislikes' is an understatement, Kuroo..

**not creampuff-chan** : can't say I disagree^^

**not a radish** : me neither

**kunikira** : you also can't blame him for it, Yahaba

**catwoman** : oya oya~? drama?

**OIKSIE** : I want in on the gossip! ;)

_**hinamatata has added milkysetter** _

**not creampuff-chan:** fuck you and your baby alives, Kunimi

**milkysetter** : what-

**kunikira** : great timing, Yahaba

**milkysetter** : kunimi?

**milkysetter** : HINATA BOKE WHY DID U ADD ME HERE U BOKE

**milkysetter** : WHO ARE U PPL

**mega megane:** the only smart thing he's said all year

**milkysetter** : tsukishima?

**mega megane:** oh, so it isn't an idiot duo thing

**milkysetter** : what?

**mega megane** : nevermind, you simpleton

**oh gods** : Ig we should introduce ourselves, since it seems like we can't leave

**milkysetter** : wait, WE CAN'T LEAVE?!

**oh gods** : nope. already tried.

**hinamatata** : IM HINATA SHOUYOU IN FIRST YEAR FROM KARSUCNO

**oh gods** : oh my god, he totally butchered our school name

**mega megane** : what were you expecting, really? Tsukishima Kei, Karasuno

**oh gods** : ennoshita chikara, karasuno, second year

**futacoochie** : Futakuchi Kenji, dateko

**kunikira** : Kunimi Akira, seijou, 1st year

**not a radish** : kindaichi yuutarou, ^^

**kunikira** : @yamatatas don't introduce yourself. We already know you're Nekoma's Yamamoto

**terrorshima** : terushima yuuji, second year, captain of johzenji

**bootyboo** : bobata kazuma, second year, johzenji, _NOT ALISA OR WHATEVER_

**bootyboo** : and probably Teru's future murderer

**yamatatas** : OI! SHOW SOME RESPECT, IM A SECOND YEAR

**kunikira** : and I'm a first year with an ass made for kissing

**OIKSIE** : omg

**russiacat** : Haiba Lev, first year, nekoma, VERY SORRY FOR THINKING YOU WERE MY SIS

**catwoman** : technically it's a compliment, because his sister is gorgeous

**russiacat** : rIGHT?!

**sempai** : Tanaka Ryunosuke, 2nd yr, karasuno

**thundah** : NISHINOYA YUU, SECOND YETA, KARASUNO

**not creampuff-chan** : Yahaba Shigeru, 2nd year, seijo. same for @puppy-chan, he's Kyoutani Kentaro, same as me

**Akaashi** : Akaashi keiji, second year, fukurodani

**lady naga** : onaga wataru, first year, fukurodani

**pudding** : Kozume Kenma, second year, nekoma

**fuckingnaga** : fukunaga shohei, second, nekoma

**sinji** : watari shinji, seijo, second year

**mothermonkey** : nobuyoshi izaka, johzenji, second year

**russiacat** : what is with these johzenji dudes and appearing outta nowhere?!

**inuohhhka** : Inuoka Sou, first year, nekoma

**milkysetter** : kageyama tobio, first year, karasuno. whats this chat for?

_**Everyone has logged off** _


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello and welcome back to hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so u see its 12AM and I'm fucking hungry asf, send help

** 9:45PM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**_hinamatata has added IM NEXT_ **

**hinamatata:** you can take it from here, right, @IM NEXT ?

**IM NEXT** : YES! SUCH A SIMPLE TASK IS NO MATCH FOR A FUTURE ACE SUCH AS MYSELF

**pudding** : shouyou, you should be preparing for bed

**hinamatata** : kenma!!! I will, just a seccc

**_IM NEXT has added don't add me anywhere, shit fuck off, not yuno gasai i swear, akaikura, shitbastard, sagayy to ok so_ **

**don't add me anywhere** : does no one pay attention to my username?

**shit fuck off** : pfft no, what were you expecting

**shit fuck off** : also, the fuck is this goshiki

**sagayy** : I second that question

**akaikura** : what's this lmao

**hinamatata** : AKAKURAAAAAAA

**akaikura** : hinata?

**sagayy** : yo! Hinata, kinda offended you shouted his name but not mine

**not yuno gasai i swear** : that sounds so wrong

**shitbastard** : get your head out of the gutter, yuno gasai

**not yuno gasai i swear** : shibata i will m u r d e r you

** 2:04AM **

**pudding** : omg shouyou u didn't

** 4:55AM **

**OIKSIE** : CHIBI-CHAN YOU TRAITOR

**OIKSIE** : I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

**OIKSIE** : YOU AVOIDED SAYING SHIRATORIZAWA SO I WOULDNT BE SUMMONED BUT YOU ADDED THE SHIT IN

**OIKSIE** : ARGHHHHHHH

** 5:43AM **

**don't add me anywhere:** I see I am not welcome here

**_don't add me anywhere has left the chat_ **

**OIKSIE** : YES

**_oh gods has added don't add me anywhere to the chat_ **

**OIKSIE** : NO

**oh gods** : chat rules. no one leaves the chat.

**don't add me anywhere** : fuck everyone and your aunt nelly

** 6:08AM **

**hinamatata** : GAAAAAH GRAND KING PLEASE DON'T KILL ME

**OIKSIE** : sorry I can't hear you over the sound of BETRAYAL

**milkysetter** : Oikawa-san?

**OIKSIE** : ew

** 7:27AM **

**futacoochie** : jfc y'all wake up too early

**lady naga** : ikr? I was still dreaming of choking the logic into Bokuto-san

**futacoochie** : um what

**Akaashi** : it's a usual thing at Fukurodani

**futacoochie** : kinda scared of letting my team meet y'all

**lady naga** : oh right, they haven't been added, right?

**futacoochie** : no, and I don't plan on adding them any time soon.

**futacoochie** : or like ever.

**sagayy** : makes sense. I wouldn't want the team to see this if I were the capt, either.

**futacoochie** : noah fence, but who tf r u

**sagayy** : segae yusho, shiratorizawa, 1st year

**IM NEXT** : GOSHIKI TSUTOMU, SHIRATORIZAWA, 1ST YEAR NEXT ACEE

**OIKSIE** : EW VILE

**not yuno gasai i swear** : yunohama, shiratorizawa, second year

**shitbastard** : shibata, first year, shiratorizawa

**akaikura** : akakura kai, first year, you already know my school

**shit fuck off** : shirabu kenjiro. second year.

**don't add me anywhere** : kawanishi.

**futacoochie** : I asked for one kid not for the entire package the fuck

**shit fuck off** : fuck off

**terrorshima** : GUYSS

**bootyboo** : TERU DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE

**terrorshima** : BET

**kunikira:** um the fuck?

**bootyboo** : TERU I WILL PERSONALLY DROWN YOU ISTG

**terrorshima** : SO WE WERE HEADING TO CLASS FROM TRAINING YE

**bootyboo** : here lies terushima yuuji, murdered in cold blood by his bestfriend, may he always be forgotten and live on in hell

**futacoochie** : ^^our senpais to us

**not creampuff-chan:** ok now I'm interested

**shit fuck off** : no one cares

**not creampuff-chan** : I don't wanna hear that from a geometry set

**don't add me anywhere** : maybe...maybe I'll enjoy this chat more than I originally thought

**terrorshima** : AND THEN BOBATA WAS BITCHING ABT VOLLEYBALL AND USING GESTURES

**terrorshima** : THEN HE SPIKES A GIRL'S BAG

**mega megane** : just get to it already

**catwoman** : now now, tsukki, all in due time~

**mega megane** : I will impale you with a ruler

**terrorshima** : BUT LIKE THE BAG WAS FULL OF TAMPONS, PADS AND CLOTHES SO HER UNDERWEAR JUST FALLS AT HIS FEET

**bootyboo** : we had a good run, teru

**bootyboo** : now the time has come for you to close your eyes.

**bootyboo** : forever

**mothermonkey** : LMAO AHAH BOBATA YOU DID WHAT NOW

**bootyboo** : shUT IT OR YOU'RE NEXT

**mothermonkey** : not if enraged girls have anything to do with it

**mothermonkey** : if I whore out your story a little then I'll have a bunch of warriors at my beck and call

**bootyboo** : ...,idk if I should say 'fuck' or 'touché'

**kunikira** : I'm surprised you're a alive after knocking those kinds of things out of her hands

**not creampuff-chan** : HANDHAI I LAUGHED SO HARD I SNORTED OXYGEN

**not a radish** : ,,,,,,

**sinji** : ....excuse me, what?

**puppy-chan** : I feel good about myself now

**oh gods** : we're in for a long, long day

**Akaashi** : this will be my grave

**pudding** : I died long ago

**fuckingnaga** : omfg kenma no—

**pudding** : kenma yes

**catwoman** : kenma nO

**pudding** : kenma maybe

**hinamatata** : but:(((

**pudding** : kenma no

**akaikura** : whippedt

**OIKSIE:** OKAY LISTEN UP SHIRATORIZAWA FILTH

**shitbastard** : I wish I could disagree

**akaikura** : I-

**OIKSIE** : PUDDING<3 IS DATING KURO-CHAN, BUT THEY HAVE THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP YK. PUDDING<3 IS BESTIE WESTIES WITH ORANGE BIRB, CARES ON A PERSONAL LEVEL AND SHIT BUT PURELY FRIENDSHIP AND THEY ARE WHIPPED™️ FOR OTHER PPL. DONT TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY, RATS

**catwoman** : this is why I love u

**pudding** : does this mean I'm free of the prison that is our relationship?

**catwoman** : g a s p

**catwoman** : kenma how could u betray me like this;(

**catwoman** : after all that we've been through? after all those times I cared for you with my utmost attention, sick or not? after everything that you've done for me, everything you've helped me get through....

**pudding** : put a sock in it and get back to class

**Akaashi** : he was right next to you, wasn't he

**pudding:** *it

**futacoochie** : omg

** 9:21AM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**thundah** : do you think ducks like bondage?

**inuohhhka** : excuse me- what-

**not creampuff-chan** : I'm going to pretend I didn't see that

**shit fuck off** : bitch excuse a bitch what the fuck?

**oh gods** : oh gods

**oh gods** : I disown that. I have no relation to it.

**sempai** : OMG THIS IS A BIHG THING DO THEYYY

**oh gods** : I also disown that.

**oh gods** : whatever it is.

**hinamatata** : what's bondage????

**oh gods** : please don't tell him. I don't want to deal with Karasuno's designated parents going on a killing spree again

**russiacat** : agAIN?!

**oh gods** : you do not wanna know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I copy-pasted from my computer and it's showing the bold. On my phone it was different so kinda scared it's not actually bold. please tell me if it's not:>
> 
> \- liruicchi


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we ride at dawn, bitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a blob of text that's actual...well...text. If you don't want to, you don't have to read it. You'll still be able to understand just by reading the texts, so you can just scroll past it if you want.

** 10:23AM (same day) **

**_-ok so-_ **

**futacoochie** : send help

**futacoochie** : I'm dying

**catwoman** : good

**pudding** : sigh

**not creampuff-chan** : omg shutupshutupshutup im in class

**futacoochie** : me 2, why do u think I'm on the verge of death?

**OIKSIE** : same ToT

**bootyboo** : y'all are overdramatic af

**bootyboo** : class is fine

**terrorshima** : **_he says as he continues to stab me without an ounce of guilt_**

**kunikira** : you kinda deserve it tho

**not creampuff-chan** : kunimi, we're in class

**kunikira** : and?

**kunikira** : my teacher is crying, all I'm doing is making the best out of the situation, like all the adults say we should

**oh gods** : I'm not even surprised at this point tbh

**oh gods** : my teacher burst into tears a few times too

**IM NEXT** : YEAH MINE TOO

**shit fuck off** : UM WHAT

**shit fuck off** : first of all, WHY ARE YOUR TEACHERS CRYING—

**shit fuck off** : second of all, who're you guys?

**oh gods** : I have a feeling this isn't shirabu

**shit fuck off** : nah, this is Semi lmfao

**terrorshima** : oh, the hot third year setter from shiratorizawa?

**shit fuck off** : um what

**Akaashi** : you get used to it

**bootyboo** : surprised teru still has movement in his fingers

**bootyboo** : perhaps I should do something about that

**terrorshima** : PLEASE DON'T

**not creampuff-chan** : SERIOUSLY GUYS

**not creampuff-chan** : stOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE IN THE MIDDKE OF CLASS

**OIKSIE** : AS MY KOUHAI YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE ON YOUR PHONE, YAHABA

**shit fuck off** : ohh, so you're Yahaba Shigeru!

**not creampuff-chan** : at ur service

**not creampuff-chan** : OIKAWA-SAN YOU'RE ON YOUR PHONE TOO YOU HYPOCRITE

**not creampuff-chan** : AND IM ONLY HERE BECAUSE YALL WON'T STOP BLOWING UP MY PHOEN

**OIKSIE** : I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I FINISHED MY WORK EARLY SO THE TEACHER LET ME DO EHATEVER I WANT

**kunikira** : partially out of favouritism

**not a radish** : gUYS....we should stop disrespecting our senpai....

**sinji** : I agree

**puppy-chan** : but he's trash

**kunikira** : facts

**IM NEXT** : SEMI-SAN WHY DO YOU HAVE SHIFABU'S OHONE

**shit fuck off** : we accidentally switched because we were rushing:)

**OIKSIE** : ehhhh~ you _sure_ it was an accident, Ei-chan👀

**shit fuck off** : what else would it be?

**_-private message: oikawa tooru, shirabu kenjiro-_ **

**shirabu kenjiro:** oi Oikawa I will snap ur fucking neck

**shirabu kenjiro:** I will actually get my ass to Aoba johsai to end the pathetic excuse of an existence that is your life

**oikawa tooru** : okai okai~~~

_**shirabu kenjiro has deleted three messages** _

**_-ok so-_ ** ****

**shit fuck off** : anyways get back to class

**shit fuck off** : I'm glad none of the other shiratorizawa second and first years are on

**shitbastard** : my teacher just left the classroom with their face in their hands. I think the teachers are starting to break down because of us

**oh gods** : you're not even wrong

**kunikira:** ^^

**shit fuck off** : SHIBATA??

**shitbastard** : ....ur not shirabu, are u....

**futacoochie** : scroll up my dude

**shitbastard** : .......

**shitbastard** : I can explain

**shit fuck off** : I'm all ears

**_shitbastard has left the chat_ **

**shit fuck off** : I-

**OIKSIE** : KNDOSKSJD LMAO EI-CHAN YOU SCRAED OFG ONE OF YIIR OSN

**shit fuck off** : SHUT THE FUCK UP OIKAWA

**_oh gods has added shitbastard into the chat_ **

** 11:43AM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**not creampuff-chan** : if someone could send help that would be highly appreciated xx

**shit fuck off** : ew why would anyone help a canal rat like u

**fuckingnaga** : yea but Kaz is hot so what's the insult here

**sagayy** : eYE-

**not creampuff-chan** : no seriouslt

**not creampuff-chan** : Oikawa-san is crying and iwaizumi-san isn't here

**kunikira** : wait really??

**not creampuff-chan** : yra

**kunikira** : fuck

**sinji** : shit. I'm heading over rn

**sinji** : what abt the rest of the third years?

**milkysetter** : OIKAWA-SAN IS CRYING??

**milkysetter** : WHY

**not a radish** : WE DON'T FUCKING KNOW

**Akaashi** : this seems...bad

**not creampuff-chan** : no, makki-san and matsun-san went somewhere else with iwaizumi-san. I have no idea where they are sO HOW TO HANDLE A CRYING OIIKAEA

**shit fuck off** : what's the big deal?

**shit fuck off** : doesn't he always cry?

**don't add me anywhere** : nah shirabu, smth is probably wrong u dumb fuck

**kunikira** : where are you guys

**not creampuff-chan** : my classroom

**sinji** : I see you. Luckily, i packed milk bread today so that might help

**kunikira** : message the other third years about this

**puppy-chan** : on it

**not a radish** : ok

** 11:49AM **

**_-priv message: mattsun, kyouken-_ **

**kyouken** : something has happened to Oikawa

** 11:49AM **

**_-priv message: makki, kindaichi-_ **

**kindaichi** : makki-san help, something bad has happened and Oikawa-san needs you for real

** 11:49AM **

**_-priv message: iwaizumi hajime, kyouken-_ **

**kyouken** : there's a problem. oikawa needs you now.

___

Almost in unison, the three third years' phones buzzed, interrupting their conversation. Makki took his out, brow creasing as he read the message. The other two did the same.

"Shit, are they serious?" Iwaizumi cursed, hurriedly putting his phone away. Mattsun looked at him, worry for his friend evident in his eyes.

"It sounds serious, especially if it's _Kyoutani_ of all people messaging us," Mattsun said. The three began to power walk to the location Watari had sent them, legs stiff. It was all they could do not to run and make a scene.

_"Fuck it_ ," Makki hissed like JD in Heathers after walking a few metres. He then burst into a sprint, Iwaizumi and Mattsun following.  
  


"Oikawa-san, what happened? I know I'm not Iwaizumi-san or one of the other third years, but..." the second year setter tried, cautiously trying to pat him on the back, but just withdrawing his hand every time he got close. Oikawa just drew his knees in closer, hiding his face in them. Yahaba could hear muffled sobs coming from the boy.

He heard the door opening and turned to see Watari walk in with a plastic bag containing slices of milk bread. He looked at Yahaba, asking with his eyes what happened, if he had gotten any better. The setter just shook his head. Watari frowned and crouched down, setting the milk bread in front of their captain.

"Hey," he said, prodding the boy gently. "I got you milk bread. Your favourite, right?" The captain just sniffles, not even looking up at the mention of his favourite food. Watari eyed him sadly. _That bad, huh?_

The door opened again, and they both turned to see Kunimi, Kindaichi and Kyoutani walking in, the former two breathing a bit more heavily than the latter. They had rushed here.

Kindaichi just looked at their captain sadly. Kunimi's expression didn't change, nor did Kyoutani's. The air in the room was tense—so tense you could cut it with a knife. Watari nudged the bag of milk bread closer to the crying boy, but still he didn't so much as look up. They couldn't do anything. Not until the third years came.

And apparently, that wouldn't be long, because in just a few seconds, they heard what sounded like three people running towards the classroom. Ah, the power of a best friend crying.

"SHITTYKAWA," Iwaizumi screeched, slamming the door open. Makki and Mattsun followed right after him, equally as worried.

"What's wrong with him?" Asked Makki.

"The fuck happened?" Mattsun was on the verge of screaming. The five younger boys shook their heads, showing they didn't know, as the three third years bounded in, heading straight for Oikawa.

Iwaizumi looked like he was about to yell, but stopped as soon as he heard a muffled sob. He looked at the other two, who were equally as shocked.

"Hey," Makki said, nudging his captain. "We're here. What's wrong?" Oikawa didn't answer.

"Oi Trashykawa. What the fuck happened?" Iwaizumi's voice was barely restrained. He was angry, and this time not at Oikawa. He'd hunt down the guy that made Oikawa cry, and—

"His phone," Mattsun said, noticing the lit screen. He picked it up and typed in the password, then read the messages. Curious, the other two third years, and everyone in the room, read over his shoulder.

"...bitches."

___

** 12:19PM **

**_-the hags_ ** **-**

**barazilla** : I'm going to kill somebody.

**acrylic memelord** : usually I'd stop u but imma break a bitch too

**barazilla:** appreciate it, makki

**dadchi always wants to die** : uh? What's wrong?

**santawara** : yeah, what happened at Seijo?

**mommy** : I heard from Futakuchi that the 1st and 2nd year chat said that Oikawa was apparently crying

**tallest** : what?

**santawara** : now that you mention it, kageyama did say he was worried for Oikawa...and all the first years + tanaka, noya and ennoshita were huddled up talking together..

**catwoman** : WHAT??

**catwoman** : WHAT HAPPRNED TO NYD BRO

**farmer** : kawanishi, shirabu and goshiki were also talking about this

**punk mommy** : what? There's something wrong with Oikawa?

**memeoir** : I have my axe ready

**BYE BYE BYE** : WHAT WHAT HAPPENED. TOVNHE MY HTO

**barazilla** : apparently some guys were being really homophobic to him online

**barazilla** : _has sent fifteen images_

**punk mommy** : Tendou, ushijima, reon, yamagata

**punk mommy** : I may not be at the next class

**i love all my kouhai** : don't look at me, I won't be, either

**catwoman** : I see that a few of them are in tokyo

**catwoman** : it's murder time

**satoriteller** : I can cover our tracks

**tallest** : it's only murder if you get caught.

**sneaky the snekky** : oh don't you worry your pretty little heads off about being caught, Nohebi can help with that:)

** 12:27PM **

**_-captaincy is a curse-_ **

**daddychi** : Second year captains

**daddychi** : _has sent fifteen messages_

**daddychi** : we ride at dawn


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> volleyball boys are now hunters, sorry I don't make the rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a shorter chapter today, hope that's okay!

** 12:18PM **

**_-captaincy is a curse-_ **

**fuckboy-chan:** :)

**cries in lampost:** :)

**daddychi** : that's,,,kinda intimidating but okay

** 12:19PM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**not creampuff-chan** : so

**not creampuff-chan** : we found out why he's crying:)

**milkysetter** : what happENED?!!?;!

**shit fuck off** : lmao protective of oikawaaa

**kunikira** : some guys were being homophobic to him

**futacoochie** : yeah, daichi told the captain's chat

**terrorshima** : :)

**bootyboo** : the look on his face is so fucking johzenji

**bootyboo** : for our generation, that is

**shit fuck off** : I'm pretty sure semi's not gonna be at the next class

**shitbastard** : did they tell the third years chat?

**not yuno gasai i swear** : obviously

**don't add me anywhere** : apparently yamagata-senpai won't be, either

**not creampuff-chan** : _has sent fifteen images_

**sinji** : matsuhana and Iwaizumi-san look ready to kill

**not a radish** : so do you, actually.....

**kunikira** : all of seijoh does

**puppy-chan** : i can kill them ye

**not creampuff-chan** : ye

**sinji** : :))))

**hinamatata** : THEYRE SO MEAN HUST BEFAYSE HES GAY????

**sempai** : NOYA-SAN

**thundah** : I GOTCHU

**thundah** : LEZGOOOOOOO

**shit fuck off** : HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCKING SHIT

**not a radish** : ?????

**shit fuck off** : I JUST RAN INTO TENDOU-SNPWI

**shit fuck off** : HE LOOKS LIKE GHE APEX PREDTAOR

**shit fuck off** : ABORT MISSION ABORT MISISODN

**milkysetter** : HINATA!!!!!!

**milkysetter** : YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, RIGHT

**hinamatata** : YES

**milkysetter** : make sure you spike properly

**Akaashi** : you're seriously thinking of vb rn??

**bootyboo** : no

**bootyboo** : I think they're gonna use their vb skills to hurt people

**terrorshima** : OH SHITT

**oh gods** : for once, I'm not even gonna stop them

**oh gods** : RUN FREE, DESTROY THE HOMOPHOBES

**lady naga** : bitch u joined them wym

**oh gods** : stfu before I put u on my hitlist too

**lady naga** : oh shit

**shit fuck off** : USHIJIMA SENPAI LOOKS PIKE MURDER IS YIS CLEANEST SIN

**shit fuck off** : HOLY FUCKIGN SHIT HDENEPWAP OHIRA SENPAI TOO

**don't add me anywhere** : THATS WHAT I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TELL YOY

**don't add me anywhere** : FUVK R UN

**shit fuck off** : i aM RUNBINH

**terrorshima** : YO BOOTY BITCH YOU IN IT OR NOT

**bootyboo** : FUCK YEA BITCHASS

**bootyboo** : LETS KICK SOME FUCKING HOMOPHOBIC ASS

**terroshima** : YOOOOOOOOOO

**mothermonkey** : LETS DO THIS SHIT BOYS

**inuohhhka** : usually....I don't employ violence or anger.....I'm not gonna be mean at all...

**pudding** : he looks like he's been possessed

**futacoochie** : aone read the chat over my shoulder and saw the pics

**futacoochie** : safe to say these guys are gonna be...forcibly removed from this world

**kunikira** : more like from the realm of the living itself

**futacoochie** : I mean you're not even wrong

**_inuohhhka has added shibaby to the chat_ **

**inuohhhka:** he wanted to.

**shibaby** : hi:)

**shibaby** : nekoma's shibayama, I'm mad at those homophobes:)))))))))))))

**russiacat** : didn't yaku-san tell the libero chat?

**shibaby** : indeed he did:)

**futacoochie** : that smile scares me

**pudding** : as it should

**pudding** : he's not normally like this

**Akaashi** : so I may be seeing things but

**Akaashi** : Bokuto-san looks like he could kill with zero regrets right now

**shit fuck off** : I JUST HEARD YAMAGATA-SENPAI

**don't add me anywhere** : SHIRABU R UN N

**shit fuck off** : iM TR YING

**no yuno gasai i swear** : wait don't the setters have a gc as well???

**pudding** : ye

**shit fuck off** : y ES ANF ID BE GELPING WITH THSI SHIT IF I WANDT RUNNING FROM MY DENPAIS

**sagayy** : but rhey won't harm you???

**don't add me anywhere** : okay but consider this

**don't add me anywhere** : they look like they have tea with Satan and are his night terrors atm

**sagayy** : it cant be th

**sagayy** : nvm

**fuckingnaga** : so we're just gonna ignore how shiratorizawa is literally running from shiratorizawa

**futacoochie** : sO moniwa looks like he's plotting a massacre

**pudding** : ain't no homophobes making it out of this alive

**terrorshima** : we've found two of them! apparently they live together:P

**bootyboo** : we've brought our best communication skills

**inuohhhka** : I'm bringing my men

**pudding** : your what

**kunikira** : I'll bring in my unit

**sinji** : your what

**shit fuck off** : KAWANISHI

**shit fuck off** : IM NOT GONNA BE JN CLASS

**sagayy** : wAIT HES ACTUALLY GONNA DO SMTH TOO?!!

**don't add me anywhere** : ok protractor

**don't add me anywhere** : yeh??? The setter gc is close even if they're just stupid and he hates them all

**akaikura** : yeh. You didn't know from thebstart?

**sagayy** : he was runNING

**don't add me anywhere** : he's just afraid of our senpais

**not yuno gasai i swear** : rightfully so

**IM NEXT** : I EONT LIKE HOMOPHOBIA:((((((((

**not yuno gasai i swear** : we know you don't, goshiki

**terrorshima** : yo ok so how do we cover this up

**mega megane:** what did u do-

**terrorshima** : don't ask just appreciate

**bootyboo** : _has sent an image_

**futacoochie** : holy shit what the fUCK

**kunikira** : I'll get someone to erase it for you

**sinji** :

**sinji** : I am so glad we are on the same team-

**kunikira** : just spare me the work and send the location

**terrorshima** : ok thanks:)

**futacoochie** : WHAT HAPPENED TO TAHT GUY IN THE CORNERE

**mothermonkey** : ok so u see

**mothermonkey** : futamata, our setter, is in that setter gc

**mothermonkey** : and unlike teru, he wasn't able to contain it. he unleashed the beast

**sagayy** : yeah but he looks like he's fucking dead

**mothermonkey** : we didn't come with the intention of beating them up, not exactly. we talked. and we cornered them

**bootyboo** : and one of them made the mistake of lunging at mata

**bootyboo** : I'd say 'may he rest in peace' but he deserved it so

**sinji** : UH GUYS

**sinji** : MATTSUN IS HOLDING SOMEONE OUT THE WINDOW

**futacoochie** : by their ankles? didn't know he had it in him

**sinji** : no, only their shoulder up is out and I can hear muffled screaming omg is he covering their mOUTH

**kunikira** : no witnesses

**oh gods** : daichi looks angry

**oh gods** : better tell the rest of the kids to stay on their best behaviour

**shirabu:** sO I may have hijacked a car

**not yuno gasai i swear** : you what now

**don't add me anywhere** : why am I honestly not surprised?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't mess with oikawa tooru, and don't be homophobic.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> god fucking knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda just gave up on the bold halfway lmao. phone’s a bitch. will bold them all later when i get to use the computer.

** 2:34PM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**kunikira** : jfc terushima how did you nearly get arrested nine times?

**kunikira** : even with my hELP

**kunikira** : my lovely aDVICE

**kunikira** : yOU STILL MANAGE D THIS

**sinji** : take deep breath, kunimi

**kunikira** : no.im calm. I need no such thing. Yes. No such thing

**terrorshima** : iT'S NOT ALL MY FAULT

**terrorshima** : BLAME FUTAMATA

**mothermonkey** : is futamata HERE tho?

**terrorshima** : no

**terrorshima** : but he SHOULD be!

**terrorshima** : THE ENTIRE TEAM ARE SECOND YEARS

**mothermonkey** : YOU CANT BLAME SMO THAT ISN T HERE TERU

**mothermonkey** : but u have a point lmao

**terrorshima** : YES I CAN

**terrorshima** : I ALWAYS HAVE A POINT WYM

**bootyboo** : LMAO YEA WHERE R THE REST OF OUR MEMBERS

**kunikira** : in the fucking dump

**kunikira** : where you belong

**bootyboo** : HASJCJHDS damn just cos teru pissed u off doesn't mean u need to project onto us://

**futacoochie** : ok lol but did everyone make it out ok?

**inuohhhka** : yes!!:D. I checked, everyone is okay!

**futacoochie** : how do u even know this shit? lmaoo freakyy

**shibaby** : I'd tell u not to say that but honestly I'm curious too

**shibaby** : I've never seen this side of you before, Inuoka!

**inuohhhka** : haha, yeah..

**inuohhhka** : I usually reserve this side for more serious things

**russiacat** : no he means like seriously

**russiacat** : u had like a whole train of ppl following u

**inuohhhka** : :)

**_bootyboo has added gaybin, heetie, jiri and froggy to the chat_ **   
  
  


**jiri:** um what the fucky, boobs?

**heetie** : ^^

**froggy** : ^^^

**gaybin** : ^^^^

**terrorshima** : ^^^^^

**bootyboo** : TERU WHAT

**bootyboo** : UR LITERALLY AN OG TFTFTF

**bootyboo** : yIU BITCH

 **futacoochie:** lmao betrayal at its FINEST

**bootyboo** : put a sock in it, lampost turned eboy

**terrorshima** : LMAOOO ^^

**gaybin** : ok so what i'm hearing is

**gaybin** : i was added so teru could shift the blame onto me?

**mothermonkey** : precisely

**gaybin** : wow he's such a bitch

**bootyboo** : ikr

**shit fuck off** : wow, we're in total agreement

**terrorshima** : i

**terrorshima** : i'm just going to take this as everyone uniting and bonding, so therefore proof of my skills as a captain and a person overall

**mega megane** : wtf

**russia cat** : who are these ppl?

**heetie:** bitch who sre u

**mothermonkey** : down, boy

**thundah** : ok but y'all need to actually introduce urselfs bc im just calling u all party boy 1, 2 and 3

**froggy** : there are four of us??

**thundah** : look

**thundah** : being a gaybin means being iconic, memorable and great so he's exempt

**mega megane** : are we just going to ignore the fact that he said 'urselfs'

**futacoochie** : shhh

**futacoochie** : lev him have his moment

**futacoochie** : *let

**russia cat** : at ur service sir

**futacoochie** : begone thot

**gaybin** : i always knew this name would come in handy

**puppy-chan** : but that rightfully belong to oikawa-san

**sinji** : djJDJDJS Ky0UTANU PL W A S E

**akaikura** : wow

**akaikura** : is this how seijoh treats each other

**shitbastard** : mans went through a whole ass ordeal and ur calling him homo garbage behind his back, hoes ain't loyal smh

**sagayy** : bro u guys literally told goshiki that chainmail could only be prevented if he didn't talk for a week

**shitbastard** : that was different

**not yuno gasai i swear** : no it wasn't

**shitbastard** : ok but listen

**shitbastard** : he's like a human loudspeaker and we had a big pop quiz that week

**IM NEXT** : wJAT

**akaikura** : ...,u saw nth

**lady naga** : lmao

**terrorshima** : wE'RE GETTING SIDETRACKED

**terrorshima** : INTRODUCE THYSELVES, PEASANTS

**gaybin** : _you say as if you are not the gum beneath my shoe_

**thundah** : a legend

**jiri** : numajiri rintaro

**gaybin** : futamata takeharu eke

**heetie** : hIGASHiyama katsumicHi

**froggy** : tsuyu asui

**don't add me anywhere** : omg i'm a huge fan of ur work

**oh gods** : what

**don't add me anywhere** : what

**shitbastard** : kawanishi-senpai is secretly weeb comfirmed??

**shit fuck off** : lmao secret? sure sure.

**don't add me anywhere** : shirabu stfu before i end ur life

**not creampuff-chan** : ah, i see you are a man of culture

**shit fuck off** : lmao what're u gonna do? drown me?

**don't add me anywhere** : i might

**shit fuck off** : you can literally fuck right off, cumspeaker

**shitbastard** : i feel like that's more fitting to goshiki tho lmao

**shit fuck off** : same tbh but it's the first thing that came to mind

**IM NEXT** : WHAT

**IM NEXT** : THATS SO MEAN??? ('༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ')

**futacoochie** : again i say,

**oh gods** : no, u do not say. ur inanimate pls

**futacoochie** : betrayal at its FINEST

**terrorshima** : LMAOO THAT WAS SUCH GOOD TIMING

**futacoochie** : i cALL BULLYING

**shibaby** : says the bully

**futacoochie** : I TOLD HIM I WAS SORRY JFC

**shibaby** : i

**shibaby** : I WAS JOKINH

**futacoochie** : oH

**fuckingnaga** : futakuchi is there smth u wanna tell us-

**futacoochie** : no-

**shit fuck off** : wait don't cry

**shit fuck off** : semi-senpai and tendou-senpai will be mad at me

**futacoochie** : anD HE GOES IN FOR A SECOND STRIKE

**fuckingnaga** : dON'T CHANGE THE TOPIC

**futacoochie** : I CAN CHANGE WHATEVER I WANT TO CHANGE

**pudding** : then why is your personality still shit?

** 7:28PM **

**_-ok so_ ** **-**

**bootyboo** : i think teru's on fire

**not a radish** : what-

**oh gods** : someone tell me why i'm honestly not even surprised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it’s been ages! I honestly have no excuse for being gone this long, but this was fun to make aa


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they b chaotic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi motherfuckers:>  
> I don't really have an excuse for being gone this long,,, hekddeiwkx pls accept my deepest apologies in the form of salt  
> Also the formatting is kinda whack lmfao

** 11:56AM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**futacoochie:** I wish I could eat concrete and make it taste like candy  
  
  


 **bootyboo** : same tbh  
  
  


 **gaybin** : that would actually be so fucking cool  
  
  


 **terrorshima** : omg lets try it   
  
  


**bootyboo** : fuck yea this shit right here yea this the shit  
  
  


 **heetie** : i'm  
  
  


 **kunikira** : what the fuck  
  
  


 **mega megane** : and just when I'd thought there were enough  
  
  


 **catwoman** : there can never be enough  
  
  


 **mega megane** : there can so be enough  
  
  


 **pudding** : ^^  
  
  


 **kunikira** : ^^  
  
  


 **milkysetter** : what do you do when you get paint on a girl's skirt?  
  
  


 **milkysetter** : guys?  
  
  


**_Everyone has logged off_ **   
  
  


** 12:38PM **

**_-ok so-_ **   
  
  


**_kunikira has removed OIKSIE_ **   
  
  


**catwoman:** out here doing god's work LMAO  
  
  


 **pudding** : you act like you're staying  
  
  


**_pudding has removed catwoman_ **   
  
  


**futacoochie:** jsjssoiciIDIEI K e N MA  
  
  


 **ladynaga** : a savage  
  
  


 **bootyboo** : LMAO I CNAT HE CAME FOR HIS NECK  
  
  


 **pudding** : I don't come for any part of him  
  
  


 **gaybin** : sTaY pG  
  
  


 **terrorshima** : no  
  
  


 **terrorshima** : imma be so bad they make a 'T' rating;)))  
  
  


 **gaybin** : why are you our captain jfc  
  
  


 **pudding** : I ask Kuroo that every day  
  
  


 **not creampuff-chan** : okay but have you ever had to deal with Oikawa-san?  
  
  


 **not creampuff-chan** : no so don't talk  
  
  


 **sinji** : says the guy who looks up to him  
  
  


 **not creampuff-chan** : POCDCJHDCC   
  
  


**not creampuff-chan:** wAtEARuI  
  
  


 **not creampuff-chan:** shYT u R FU c K I DO NIT LOK UO TO OIKAWA-SAN  
  
  


 **mega megane** : spelling on point there  
  
  


 **kunikira** : if we were to remove all the misspelt words it'd only leave the sentence with; "ur fuck I do to Oikawa-san"  
  
  


 **kunikira** : that is, if you count the ones with spaces  
  
  


 **not creampuff-chan** : UDSU KUNIMI H o W CUOFLD YOU  
  
  


 **shit fuck off:** OH YES THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE THIS MY SHIT RIGHT HERE  
  
  


 **not creampuff-chan:** LITERALLY SHUT UP YOU PYTHAGORAS THEOREM LOOKIN ASS  
  
  


 **shitbastard** : i-  
  
  


 **don't add me anywhere** : he really came for your neck-  
  
  


 **hinamatatas** : BUT THAT SENTNCE WOULDTN MAEK SENCE??/  
  
  


 **kunikira** : ok but neither did his original sentence  
  
  


 **mega megane:** and neither did yours, short stack  
  
  


 **inuohhhka** : seeing them team up is kinda scary....  
  
  


 **russiacat** : SAYS THE GUY WITH A TRAIN OF PPL FOLLOWEING HIM  
  
  


 **inuohhhka** : tHAT'S DIFFERENT  
  
  


 **yamatatas** : iN WHAT WAY???  
  
  


 **inuohhhka** :   
  
  


**inuohhhka** : oh look my mother is calling-  
  
  


 **yamatatas** : I cALL BULLSHIT  
  
  


 **pudding** : don't we all  
  
  


 **oh gods** : shouldn't you all be in class?  
  
  


 **thundahh** : do ik u  
  
  


 **oh gods** : you do if you still want the class president's number:/  
  
  


 **thundahh** : sHHHSj n HJSI   
  
  


**thundahh** : nOW NOW ENNOSHITA  
  
  


 **thundahh** : n O ne ED TO BW HASYT  
  
  


 **oh gods** : no need to spell so badly either and yet here we are  
  
  


 **thundahh** : eY CANNOT BEELIEVE-  
  
  


** 1:12PM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**kunikira** : I never thought I'd say this, but  
  
  


 **kunikira** : @milky setter come to seijoh  
  
  


 **milkysetter** : ??? im confuged  
  
  


 **sagayy** : confuged  
  
  


 **sagayy** : are u sure u want him  
  
  


 **kunikira** : yes  
  
  


 **kunikira** : unfortunately he's my last resort  
  
  


 **not a radish** : JKDWIDUCUCNCHD C'MON KUNIIMI  
  
  


 **not a radish** : IT WASN TR THAT BAD  
  
  


 **kunikira** : do I know you  
  
  


 **not creampuff-chan** : I-  
  
  


 **not creampuff-chan** : so I see that the kettle's boiling  
  
  


 **terrorshima** : i- bro  
  
  


 **not creampuff-chan** : I am not ur bro  
  
  


 **not creampuff-chan** : keep thy deformed ass away from my stunning ass  
  
  


 **bootyboo** : EYE-  
  
  
  
  
  


 **bootyboo** : TERU YIU UUIUC  
  
  
  
  
  


 **terrorshima** : HSUYDSTY  
  
  
  
  
  


 **terrorshima** : playing hard to get I see;)  
  
  


 **not creampuff-chan** : I'm not, you're just highly undesirable  
  
  
  
  
  


 **milkysetter** : ?/   
  
  
  
  
  


**milkysetter** : kunimi why do u need me?  
  
  
  
  
  


 **not a radish** : he doesn't  
  
  
  
  
  


 **kunikira** : I do  
  
  
  
  
  


 **gaybin** : the tea is boiling hot-  
  
  
  
  
  


 **jiri** : scorching  
  
  
  
  
  


 **milkysetter** : but WHY  
  
  
  
  
  


 **hinamatata** : gdgJIDUI HSQHG  
  
  
  
  
  


 **hinamatata** : tyOU CANT HAVE HIM  
  
  
  
  
  


 **hinamatata** : DONT EVEN TRYE  
  
  
  
  
  


 **milkysetter** : ignore him  
  
  
  
  
  


 **oh gods:** I-  
  
  


 **thundah** : ENNO DONT AEVEN A C T LIKE THIS ISNY YOU  
  
  
  
 **oh gods** : who is u  
  
  


 **thundah** : eYE-  
  
  
  
  
  


 **kunikira** : ok. meet me @ the address I just sent u in pm  
  
  
  
  
  


 **thundah** : DWHWSHSJWK EN NOSHI t A HXHHPEW[JEFGHJKSLP c CXGFADFYFUHJPGOf ghdjk IDYTYEW3452T YHDNC 64 30UXHGW!Q_  
  
  
  
  
  


 **milkysetter** : ok  
  
  
  
  
  


 **sinji** : omfg he's really doing it- kunimi-  
  
  


 **mothermonkey** : I-  
  
  
  
  
  


 **mothermonkey** : is Nishinoya's phone ok-  
  
  
  
  
  


 **thundah** : JDGFSHJD UDHSA ghj8 78DO  
  
  
  
  
  


 **sempai** : no  
  
  
  
  
  


 **hinamatata** : HJKkjhcvbnkou uytrt8ig3**8 hrfsp -nm nn hv l j dxJKP PSHHJD 78979uya antdsueitHSGY6 n6457EI :iqatg t8id0a7uyfiu. q e97r2734 iposlaxUYEYn. duqui NO  
  
  
  
  
  


 **akaikura** : hinata you good there buddy-  
  
  
  
  
  


 **Akaashi** : insanity is within arm's reach  
  
  
  
  
  


 **fuckingnaga** : really? I thought everyone was brushing it with their fingertips? just me then? ok  
  
  


 **hinamatata** : aaaAAAAAAAAAAA  
  


 **shitbastard** : is  
  
  
 **shitbastard** : is he alright

**mega megane** : no

  
 **thundah** : AAAYAYYYAYAYAGABHJIOPSDF  
  


 **hinamatata** : ;LDWGFJS. IAHT E TYOU GO DIEGB

  
 **mega megane** : bitch I can't even read that  
  


 **shit fuck off** : you can't even read  
  


 **mega megane** : insult me all you want, it doesn't change the fact that you're legally blind  
  


 **shit fuck off** : youre literally the one with the glasses  
  


 **mega megane** : and you're literally the one with hair that looks like it's been cut by a mole with a weedcutter  
  


 **mega megane** : and unlike Piper, you do NOT make it work  
  


 **bootyboo** : BDJSJJSJS

**terrorshima** : hE FUCKING CAME FOR HIS LIFE LMAOOO  
  


 **shit fuck off** : whatever, at least i don't look like a cauliflower

**not yuno gasai i swear** : A FKN CAULIFLOWER I-

**mega megane** : says the protractor

**shitbastard:** when the salties fight

**gaybin** : LMFAOO😭😭🤚  
  


 **terrorshima** : gayy

**bootyboo** : 

**heetie** :

**froggy** : is he really our captain from class 7-

**gaybin:** teru omfg-   
  


**gaybin** : what's my username?  
  


**_terrorshima has left the chat_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did I tell you.


	7. and then there were 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chaos  
> yeah  
> and dumbassery  
> enjoi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scgcfxhj IM SO SORRY FOR BEING GONE FOR SO LONG??/ HOLY SHIT BROS
> 
> GSHDJASK ILL TRY TO BE CONSISTENT I SWEAR

** 2:06AM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**pudding:** what if Pokemon were real but we hunted them to extinction and now we only have plain animals bc those are the only ones we let live

**heetie:** what the fuck

**not creampuff-chan:** WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

**Akaashi** : Kozume do you need a hug?

**pudding** : _hiss_

**Akaashi** _:_ I'll take that as a yes

**4:20AM**

**_-ok so-_ **

**not creampuff-chan** : someone tell Hanamaki-san and Matsukawa-san to stop saying "ayeee" in the seijoh chat pls

**kunikira** : well Oikawa-san could've but we just had to remove him

**not creampuff-chan** : b I Tc h tHaT was YOU 

**kunikira** : oh, right

**kunikira** : I'm not sorry

**not creampuff-chan** : I know

**5:02AM**

**_-ok so-_ **

**shit fuck off** : whoever's blasting Let It Go so loudly the walls are shaking, you have two minutes to turn it off before I come for your neck.

**don't add me anywhere** : it would probs be more effective if u did it in the team gc and the gc for our floor

**shit fuck off** : bold of you to assume I'm still in the latter

**shit fuck off** : WHY DID YOU ADD ME BACK

**don't add me anywhere** : 💅

**don't add me anywhere** : uh shirabu why are u coming closer

**don't add me anywhere** : shirabu

**don't add me anywhere** : shira

**shitbastard** : rip

** 6:07AM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**sempai** : your mornings seemed eventful

**shit fuck off** : do you even know what that word means?

**sempai** : IM NOT THAT DUMB

**shit fuck off** : and I'm not that gullible

**don't add me anywhere** : and his assholery stays unmatched by anyone other than tsukishima

**footacoochie** : are u sure? cos i exist 

**sempai** : SHUT UP JUST COS YOU GOT BEAT UP BY A PROTRACTOR

**don't add me anywhere** : oi **@thundah** call off your dog before smth happens to him

**sempai** :what're u gonna do huh? glare at me like a jack o lantern?

**don't add me anywhere** : you were blessed to live peacefully all your days before today

**don't add me anywhere** : goodbye, old ass rotten egg

**sempai** : OK FIRST OF ALL, RUDE. I AM NOT A ROTTEN EGG.

**sempai** : 2ND OF ALL, IM YOUNGER THAN YIOU

**sempai** : IM A CUTE LITTLE BABY COMPERED TO YR WRINLET ASS

**footacoochie** : not so sure about that 'cute' bit.....

**kunikira** : ^^

**mega megane** : tanaka-senpai, you may be immature by personality, but you are definitely not what most would call a 'baby'. you see, even with modern slang, you do not fit the meaning. at all. you are not a baby in any respect other than your immaturity, which is in no way cute.

**kunikira** : and the only things little about you are your dick and brain

**sempai** : SHUT IT DICKBRAINS. IM OLDER THAN YOU

**footacoochie:** did you really just take two of kunimi's words to form your own? wow, the creativity:/. see that ur mind works as fast as maybe a toddler mermaid learning how to walk on land with their tail.

**mega megane:** very original of you

**kunikira** : he really couldn't think of smith on his own fast enough, so he took mine

**kunikira** : also, Futakuchi's older than you

**footacoochie** : yeah://

**fuckingnaga** : this is a ruthless three man tag team

**footacoochie** : :)

**oh gods** : y'all really out here destroying this man

**sempai** : ENNOSHITA HELPC ME

**oh gods** : and face this tag team? no thanks

**sempai** : BUT UR SUPPOIRS EDF TO HELP ME AND BE ON MY SISE

**oh gods** : didn't I tell you? I'm transferring to Dateko

**thundah** : HWAT CKJHDGSHC

**footacoochie** : we welcome you with open arms:)

**oh gods** : why thank u

**sempai** : UR NOT ALLPWOED TI

**oh gods** : as the only one with a brain out of you, noya and me, I think I have the right to do what I want

**sempai** : GCJKDJFHGHEIUYFCJKDJNBDNCNMDLSEORIURH

**thundah** : MOMMOSHITAAAAAAAAAA COME BAMC;KCKKKKK

**milkysetter** : ennoshita-san is leaving us?

**oh gods** : why did that sound like I'm gonna die

**bootyboo** : cos u r

**bootyboo** : dateko is close to Johzenji

**oh gods** : oh fuck

**oh gods** : still better than having to take care of nishinoya and tanaka

** 9:41AM **

****

**_-ok so-_ **

**milkysetter** : BOKE WHERE ARE YOU

**milkysetter** : **@** **hinamatata**

**milkysetter:** BOKEEE

**terrorshima** : the milk carton is not complete without his boke

**milkysetter** : YOUVE BEEN GONE FOR FORTY NMINUTESN YOUY ASASS WHER E aRT THOU

**terrorshima** : O boke, boke, wherefore art thou boke?

**bootyboo** : oH lOoK aT mE i'M iN cLaSs SeVrN aNd I cAn UnDeRsTaNd sHaVeSpEsRe

**terrorshima** : well, it's the minimum requirement. tho, I think the ability to spell his name should be in there, too. 

**terroshima** : dw boobs! you'll get there! boobs fighting!

**bootyboo** : I HATE YOU

**fuckingnaga** : the boob war

**lady naga** : please don't

**hinamatata** : HOW DOD YOU KNOW??/ 

**hinamatata** : WERE NOT EVEM IN THE SAME CLASD

**milkysetter** : telepathy, bitch

**sinji** : omg his inner oikawa fucking shone through

**puppy-chan** : don't curse him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wuzzup
> 
> if u got any thoughts or reactions feel free to comment em:D
> 
> I FEEL LIKE A CREEP LOL
> 
> also any good chatfics? asking for a friend.
> 
> I'm my own friend.
> 
> #selflove y'all


	8. um

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so basically I was being dumb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cleo denial is sugar btw.

** 3:06PM **   
  
  


**_-captaincy is a curse-_ **   
  
  


**daddychi** ** _:_** fHELP  
  
  


 **fuckboy-chan:** wh **-**  
  
  


 **cries in lampost** : omg is daddychii okay  
  
  


 **daddychi** : no emo-phase child, I am not  
  
  


 **mamamooshijima** : what is wrong?  
  
  


 **cries in lampost** : you  
  
  


 **catsuroo** : don't try to cover up what Daichi called you by pulling an oikawa, gwen

**fuckboy-chan** : OI

**fuckboy-chan** : GWEN WAS GOTH

**fuckboy-chan** : YOU CAN INSULT FUTA ALL YOU WHAT BUT NOT MY QUEEN GWEN

**cries in lampost** : OH TERU YEA THANKS FOR THE ASSIST

**mamamooshijima** : i am sorry to be the one to break it to you, Futakuchi, but i don't think Terushima was assisting you

**fuckboy-chan:**   
  


**cries in lampost:**

**daddychi:**

**catsuroo:**

**jonahclemence** : get out

  
 **daddychi** : ANYWAYS

**daddychi** : please send help my first years are missing

**jonahclemence** : wow, that IS a problem, a YOU problem✨💕🧚‍♀️ 

**catsuroo** : he says as he sends out a search party to find them all 

**cries in lampost** : ofc excluding kageyama

**jonahclemence** : BDUWIIWID SHUT THE FUCK UP CAT AND EMO BOY

**fuckboy-chan** : cOME ON FUCK ME EMO BOY

**cries in lampost** : i politely refuse ur kind offer💕

**cries in lampost** : i'm desperate, but unfortunately, not so desperate i'd fuck a rat💔💔💔

**fuckboy-chan** : eye

**cries in lampost** : 😌

**fuckboychan** : they will never find ur body

**cleo denile** : IDDJIS I-

**cries in lampost** : tHATS IT YOU'VE BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME WITH OIKAWA

**jonahclemence** : ONE CAN NEVER SPEND 'TOO MUCH' TIME WITH MWAH!

**cries in lampost** : iwaizumi would beg to differ

**daddychi** : CAN WE PLEASE JUST FIND MY KIDS

**jonahclemence** : SHUT UP YOU IRRELEVANT ASS RAT

**jonahclemence** : oh

**jonahclemence** : what poor timing

**jonahclemence** : i've lived a good life

**_jonahclemence has logged off_ **

**howlyowly:** is it bullying oikawa hours again?

**cleo denile** : it's always bullying oikawa hours wym

**howlyowly** : oikawa told me you have times!!!

**cleo denile** : well he lied

**cries in lampost** : oikawa always lies smh fucking pathological liar

**daddychi** : language

**cries in lampost** : IM A GROWING BOY LET ME CUSS

**daddychi** : NO YOU'RE NOT

**daddychi** : YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO GROW ANYMORE

**cries in lampost** : WHY NOT

**daddychi** : ANYWAYS

**cries in lampost** : bICYKSI-

**daddychi** : HELP ME FIND MY FIRST YEARS

**cries in lampost** : no

**mamamooshijima** : cancelled

**cleo denile** : don't

**cries in lampost** : don't

**fuckboychan** : pls dont

**catsuroo** : smh we always diss teru but hes more well mannered than everyone here

**daddychi** : MY FIRST YEARS??

**catsuroo** : missing

**cries in lampost** : my wife?

**cleo denile** : sobbing

**catsuroo** : hotel?

**fuckboychan** : trivago

**daddychi** : I fucking hate you all

**cries in lampost** : 'lAnGuAgE', father

** 3:15PM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**futacoochie:** yooo karasuno first years wya

**sagayy** : ew pedoo

**futacoochie** : i

**milkysetter** : daichi-san told me not to talk to anyone creepy

**futacoochie** : I'M-

**mega megane** : this is suspicious....

**futacoochie** : NO????

**futacoochie** : IM NOT CREEPY OR SUSPICIOUS

**hinamatata** : THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY

**futacoochie** : WHAT EVEN

** 3:20PM **

**_-captaincy is a curse-_ **

**cries in lampost** : DADDYCHI UR FIRTCYEARS ARE MONSTERS

**jonahclemence** : wbk

** 5:00PM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**pudding** : i have decided to disown kuroo

**fuckingnaga** : omg queen💜

**Akaashi** : teach me your ways, Kenma-san

**mega megane** : ^^

**pudding** : i said ive decided to, not that ive succeeded

**mega megane** : ah

**mega megane** : you failure

**pudding** : big talk for a fella with a small cock

** 5:45PM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**not yuno gasai i swear** : i love licking the chicken salt from the bowl

**kunikira** : ew wtf

**sinji** : doesn't oikawa-san do the same thing?

**terrorshima** : omg...seijoh and shiratorizawa getting along?! a once in a lifetime miracle

**sinji** : it's not rlly us that don't get along...but just Oikawa-san

**not creampuff-chan** : speak for urself

**sinji** : ngl i forgot you existed

**not creampuff-chan** : i-

**puppy-chan** : as you should

**not creampuff-chan** : IM-

**shit fuck off** : lol if we're on the topic of food still, i like eating buttered rice

**kunikira** : ....

**sinji** : like

**sinji** : you just

**sinji** : use a spoon to scoop up the butter and spread it over ur rice?

**shit fuck off** : ....yes?

**bootyboo** : WTF

**don't add me anywhere** : I TOLD YOU IT WAS WEIRD, SHIRABU

**shit fuck off** : SHUT THE FUCK UP

**shit fuck off** : IT'S NOT

**don't add me anywhere** : mhm. whatever helps you sleep at night.

**oh gods** : so basically shiratorizawa is home to the weirdos of the food world

**kunikira** : basically


	9. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i seem SOSO DEAD CKLJKHGVJBDKCLS;

** 8:26PM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**terrorshima:** good morning

**bootyboo** : i love how u say good morning when it's like 8pm

**terrorshima** :

**kunikira** : pfft

**terrorshima** : we don't need ur opinion

**bootyboo** : ok wow offended

**gayrubbishbun** : #cancelteru2020

**bootyboo** : #cancelteru2020

**mothermonkey** : #cancelteru2020

**terrorshima** : y'all MEAN

**terrorshima** : at least ennoshita loves me...

**oh gods** : #cancelteru2020

**terrorshima** : ;A;

**terrorshima** : IM QUITTING LIUFE

**kunikira** : good

**kunikira** : perish

**terrorshima** : _dies_

**mega megane** : finally

**mega megane** : peace

**terrorshima:** >;,(

**mega megane** : fuck i spoke too soon

**futacoochie** : you manifested him back into existence

**mega megane** : fuck

**gayrubbishbin** : issok, we all make mistakes

**terrorshima** : yeah, how else do you think futamata was made?

**gayrubbishbin** : how do u think teru was made

**gayrubbishbin** : i-

**terrorshima** : (:

**gayrubbishbin** : dO YOU TYPE AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT?!?/!

**futacoochie** : lightning thumbs asf😍😍 what an absolute KING❗️ Terushima Speed of Lightning Thumbs Yuuji❗️

**shit fuck off** : never speak again

**don't add me anywhere** : ^^

**not yuno gasai i swear** : damn kawanishi, what r u? his sidekick?

**shit fuck off** : **kawabitchi

**don't add me anywhere** : shitabu, i know where you live

**shit fuck off** : bitch we live in dorms

**don't add me anywhere** : they'll never find your body

**shit fuck off** : ok slenderpumpkin

**don't add me anywhere** : buttered rice

**shit fuck off** : IT'S GOOD

**don't add me anywhere** : whatever keeps ur mind and body at peace

**sinji** : bitch it's so fatfilled his body is in food hell wdym 'at peace'

**futacoochie** : ANSKSKXIIS

**futacoochie** : HE CAME FOR UR LIFE CJJS

**shit fuck off** : whatever lampost

**futacoochie** : at least i'm an attractive lampost unlike u, graph head

**shit fuck off** : nah you're so hideous you damaged my eyes

**futacoochie** : ion wanna hear that from a geometry set

**oh gods** : ok that's enough, break it up children

**futacoochie** : who u calling a child, child

**mega megane:** you're trying too hard

**terrorshima** : ^^

**bootyboo** : ur in no position to say nun, teru

**terrorshima** : SHUT UP

**terrorshima** : CAP CAP CAP

**not creampuff-chan** : EW WHAT HAS BECOME OF YOU

**sinji** : YAHAB A NO OO OOCJJAKC

**kunikira** : i hate it here

**don't add me anywhere** : who doesn't

**russiacat** : your all so pessimistic-

**mega megane** : *you're 

**oh gods** : DONT EVEN START

**futacoochie** : ok dictator

**oh gods** : murder<3

**futacoochie** : pls no

** 10:09pm **

**russiacat** : i am: in pain

**kunikira** : good

** 11:11PM **

**russiacat** : 11:11!

**kunkira** : no

**sinji** : i-

**shit fuck off:** even I'm not this mean

**terrorshima** :

**don't add me anywhere:**

**bootyboo** :

**sempai** :

**terrorshima** : i don't know who lied to you but they need to be put in jail

**shit fuck off** : fuck off

**terrorshima** : GLIMPSE THE CRUELTY OF THE SHIRABU KENJIROU

**shit fuck off** : I WILL CUT YOU

**not creampuff-chan** : with what? your edgy ass bangs?

**gayrubbishbin** : NOOOO HE CAME FOR YOUR LIFEEE

**not yuno gasai i swear:** omg

**sagayy** : the TEA

**shit fuck off:** i can and will deck the both of you

**not yuno gasai i swear** : tf u mean "can"? 

**not yuno gasai i swear:** ill deck u bbyboy

**russiacat** : omg no

**russiacat** : i was supposed to make a wish

**russiacat** : i cannot believe

**pudding** : no

**futacoochie** : wtf even is this chat

**oh gods** : idk tbh

**shit fuck off** : a trashfire of whores and lies

**bootyboo** : A TRASHFIRE OF WHORES AND LIES

**ladynaga** : im-

**sagayy** : i don't like it here

**kunikira** : you act like anyone does

**russiacat** : i do!

**kunikira** : yea but ur a loser

**ladynaga** : the disrespect-

**kunikira** : yeah

**russiacat** : UR SO MEAN

**kunikira** : ok microphone stand

**terrorshima** : OHDJVBNACN

**bootyboo** : IT'S THE INSULTS FOR ME

**russiacat** : UR ALL SO MEAN TO ME

**futacoochie** : #whatevs

**bootyboo** : #sad #depression #weliveinasociety

**gayrubbishbin** : nOOO STOP I CNAT BREATHE

**kunikira** : good

**mega megane** : stop breathing

**bootyboo** : ok emo squad

**sinji** : EMO SQUAD-

**oh gods** : i hate it here

**pudding** : me to

**futacoochie** : *too

**pudding** : your days are numbered

**futacoochie** : wbk

**mothermonkey** : wbk, even-

**oh gods:** and y'all wonder why i hate it here

**shit fuck off:** who said we were wondering

**IM NEXT:** GUYS GUYS GUYS

**shit fuck off** : no

**russiacat** : i see it runs in the squad-

**milkysetter** : squad?

**milkysetter** : volleyball squad?

**kunikira** : no you volley ball obsessed freak

**oh gods** : that's mean

**futacoochie** : and ?

**milkysetter** : i shall tell daichi-san

**oh gods** : NO

**oh gods** : SEE WHAT Y'ALL HAVE DONE

**oh gods:** OMG NO

**oh gods** : KAGEYAMA MY LORD MY ANGEL MY SAVIOUR MY LOVE MY BABY MY EVERYTHING

**terrorshima** : ROTFL KJHCVGDHJC

**oh gods** : DONT TELL DAICHI-SAN ITS OKAY EVERYTHING IS OKAT I AM SO SO SO SORRY FOR THESE GUYS THEYRE JUST CYBERBULLIES PLEASEEE ILL DO ANYTHING

**futacoochie** : OKAT

**terrorshima** : OKAT

**oh gods** : I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE


	10. 10

** 6:09AM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**terrorshima** : bitch i'm fresh off the runway

**kunikira** : **fresh off breaking the runway

**mega** **megane** : **stinky off breaking the runway

terrorshima: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU

**kunikira** : annoy me

**shit fuck off** : exist

**oh gods:** i see they're in top form today

**sinji** : yep

**sinji** : all salted up and ready to insult

**russiacat** : OH OH OH

**russiacat** : I GET IT

**pudding** : no tf u dont

**russiacat** : INSULT AS IN SALT RIGHT?2) IN-SALT??? HAHAHAHAHH

**kunikira** : my heart goes out to your captain

**fuckingnaga** : our captain?? nah nah feel bad for yaku-san

**russiacat** : MEAN

**russiacat** : KENMA-SAN HLEP ME

**pudding** : i'll help u when u can spell correctly

**futacoochie** : breaking news: jenma joins the salt squad

**terrorshima** : JENMA

**futacoochie:** SHH

**gayrubbishbin** : JENMA,,,,

**futacoochie** : I SAID SH

**fuckingnaga** : jenma marbles

**futacoochie** : whAT PART OF 'SHH' DO YALL NOT UNDERSTAND

**gayrubbishbin** : the part where we had to listen

**futacoochie** : i-

**sinji** : forget kenma, looks like futamata's already passed the test..

**pudding** : yh, just forget me

**pudding** : u guys wouldnt be the first

**terrorshima** : im-

**not yuno gasai i swear** : WATARU SEE WHAT YOUVE DONE...

**sinji** : I DIDNT MEAN TO

**puppy-chan:**.

**sinji** : doWN BOY

**bootyboo:** next min the war between shiratorizawa and seijoh continues for another gen

**sinji** : DO T JINX IT

**not creampuff-chan** : jinx jinx jinx

**sinji** : YAHABA??)?

**not creampuff-chan** : what? you said to jinx it

**sinji** : Ni i dIdNT??

**not creampuff-chan** : _has sent an image_

**not creampuff-chan** : proof

**don't add me anywhere** : can yall not

**don't add me anywhere** : it's literally six fucking am

**terrorshima** : oooo kawanishi has a violent side

**shit fuck off** : 'a'?

**shit fuck off** : bitch don't u mean kawanishi IS violent?

**don't add me anywhere:** fuck off hoe ill deck yoy

**shit fuck off** : yoy

**don't add me anywhere** : that's it

** 7:03AM **

**_-ok so-_ **

**sagayy:** so that's what the loud noise this morning was

**lady naga** : this gc is why i never leave my phone off the charger at night even if i have like 80%

**sagayy** : fr

**sinji** : loud noise-

**sinji** : are we just gonna ignore that-

**shit fuck off** : yes (:

**lady naga** : WTF DID YOU GUYS DO-

**don't add me anywhere** : nyob

**not yuno gasai i swear** : whab

**not yuno gasai i swear** : the fuck

**_-Private Message: yunohama and kawanishi taichi-_ **

**yunohama** : OI

**kawanishi taichi** : oh no

**yunohama** : smth u wanna tell me?

**kawanishi taichi** : no?

**yunohama** : what the fuck was that shit with shirabu about

**kawanishi taichi** : nothing. dont worry about it. i know semi-sans feelings

**yunohama** : ok

**yunohama** : now what abt urs

**kawanishi taichi** : how low do you think my standards are?

**yunohama** : well-

**kawanishi taichi** : ykw i dont even wanna know💀

**yunohama** : bitch u dated akakura, can u blame me for questioning ur standards

**kawanishi taichi** : it was a one time thing

**yunohama** : generally when ppl say that they mean a one night stand or a couple of weeks

**yunohama** : not five months

**kawanishi taichi** : bye

**yunohama** : smhsmh

**kawanishi taichi** : dispatching shirabu on u

**yunohama** : NO PLEASE


End file.
